Sunday, April 03, 2005

Death and Resurrection

When I was much much younger, I didn't deal very well with death and especially the idea that death is inevitable. I always thought that only bad people die. Good people never die. How naive!!!
The last couple of weeks has been a time for me to re-examine my attitude towards death.
Of course, you would know that the Pope has just passed away recently. This news came at a time when I was still contemplating the death of my sister-in-law's mum. My sister-in-law's mum (Let's call her Mdm T) was in many ways similar to my own mum - at least that is what I gathered from my conversations with my sister in-law. From the litttle I know, I would think Mdm T is much like my mum who can be described as a no-nonsense, stoic, pragmatic and serious woman.
I attended the funeral service of Mdm T, and I was deeply moved by the eulogy her son gave at the service. I was deeply moved by his sharing of his experiences with his late mother. It was clear that Mdm T was a good woman, a good wife and most of all a good mother.
The day was dedicated to all my mothers. Mothers who have committed their lives to bringing up their children, mothers who have sacrificed much, mothers who are just happy to contribute without asking for a reward or compensation. The eulogy included sharings of very touching incidents between Mdm T and her son. These sharings showed that Mdm T personified the love Christ has for us. It made real the meaning of selfless love.
This got me thinking a lot about the women in my life. I can't recall many dramatic events in my life but I'm very grateful to my mum and wife for just being there when I needed them. It was at this time that I looked across the church and saw Mdm T's husband - my sister-in-law's father. To me, he is a brave man. I can only imagine what it must be like to lose a life companion. Of course, he is upset and he shed tears. But, I could tell he is holding up alright despite his age. He showed courage, courage which I'm not sure I can muster. My heart went out to him and I asked God to show mercy and give him strength... but more importantly.... to give me strength too....
Mdm T's eulogy proceeded while my mind was still wondering how I would cope... The sharings were very heart-felt and touching to those present in the church. However it ended on a bright note - the belief that Mdm T is in heaven and that she will be resurrected at Christ's second coming. How wonderful is that! Death is only a mere detour to our final destination.

Friday, April 01, 2005

What am I working so hard for?

Just the other day, a sales rep (let's call her Mdm BH) was in my office discussing my textbook requirements with me. Not sure how but we ended up talking about how she was feeling overworked. Mdm BH looked frail and she looked she had lost some weight. She noticed it too and she put it down to the disproportionate amount of work her boss is placing on her. Mdm BH is a very capable sales rep and it's quite clear from the discussion that she is definately overworked. I mentioned that if she feels strongly about being overworked, she should approach her boss and discuss this. I suggested a couple of strategies of approaching her boss. Obviously her boss is not going to believe her too easily as Mdm BH has been too accomodating in the past.
We also discussed how work cannot be a pre-ouccupation for us. We must make a conscious effort not to neglect our loved ones because of work. Or worse still, allow our relationships with our loved ones to deteriorate. Think about it.... Mdm BH is about 32 years old. Assuming she retires at the age of 60. She has about 28 years of working life left. Let's ask ourselves, how many weekends in a year do we dedicate ourselves completely to our loved ones? A time where we are able to be ourselves, engaged in activities like walks, meals, picnics, sightseeing or even shopping with our loved ones. Mdm BH claims she could have up to 40 of such weekends in a good year. Not bad!
But if you think about it, if every year is a good year, Mdm BH would have only about 40 x 28 = 1120 weekends before she retires. This is definitely not a lot of time! We always think we have infinite number of weekends and that there will always be a tomorrow. I think we are so accustommed to working so hard that we forget to stop and think for a while and ask ourselves... what am I working so hard for? Is it for the money? Is it for the career advancement or job satisfaction?
Mdm BH is considering having a baby and I strongly encourage her to have it sooner rather than later. I said waiting is not an option. Is there supposed to be a more opportune time? I don't know.
I just received a msg from Mdm BH that she has decided to resign from her job. I am not sure if I am surprised but I am happy that she has made a decision to spend more time with her loved ones. Surely, this cannot be a bad thing.